My world
Wednesday, July 30, 2003 12:29 a.m.
uncertainity filled my world, affecting every single aspect except for my love

Green, Yellow, Red
Saturday, May 31, 2003 02:16 a.m.
I wait up for the moment, eagerly.. I give it all my best, for I wanted it to be best as well..
Time and ridiculous fate have smiled to me, gave me the greatest gift, and then struck itself through me. I bled, I dozed, and I fell.
The situation has always been ahead of me, and when it occured I didn't realize it was over. I'm lefted out, folded back in time, waiting for you to come, come take me back, to where I belong

Future
Friday, May 2, 2003 10:51 p.m.
if future was ever foreseen, i'd rather create it

Time
Thursday, March 27, 2003 06:49 p.m.
1 building, 2 buildings, 3 buildings, ...... 294 buildings. this is what i've been doing for the after noon.
1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds, ...... 7200 seconds. this is what i've been doing for the last two hours.
i didn't know how much time can take of my effort. i dicovered that it's either me or time, to stand on the others dead body.

My Real World
Thursday, March 27, 2003 11:57 a.m.
I wake up in the morning, open my eyes to my world.. I lay down thinking about a reason to get up, and I sometimes find one.. I put my cold feet down, sit up, and put on my glasses.. I wash my face without looking at it, for I can't stand doing so.. I go out and try to get all I could get of air into my lungs, and I often end up hyperventilating.. I walk every step through my day with broken legs, gaze at the sun with my swollen eyes, and carry the emptiness inside of me.. after being put down at the end of my day, I put my self down to dream of my real world..

Good Night
Wednesday, March 26, 2003 07:54 p.m.
the moon is there, up in the sky.. the road is there, i can see it with my eye..
i knew what lied ahead, i knew where everything is, i've been everywhere, and i've seen my life infront of my eyes
now im lost, and i need to find my way back to where is was.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 09:52 a.m.
I had all the work i could ever have in two weeks that got me so messed up, and with so little time things got even more messed up, my room was messed up, i couldn't think straight because my mind was messed up.

Right now, after i have done all my work, after i got more time than i would need, after i cleaned up my room, after i clear up my mind,

.... i feel empty.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 11:52 a.m.
what was, is still..
and what made this body and mind, is what will keep it.
change would be fatal..
to all i have, i will keep it

Monday, March 24, 2003 07:12 p.m.
If I could change I would,
to get the pain I would,
to trace every wrong move that I made I would. If I could,
stand up and take the blame I would, if I could,
take all the shame with a grave i would.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:49 a.m.
choices were all recommended, but i wanted something different
and what i had in return was worth even more than all the other choices.

Monday, February 24, 2003 05:56 p.m.
i would walk every step, even if i didn't know where to go. while im here, it wouldn't really matter which route i take, since they all lead to one place.
choice and reason is irrelevant, time is futile.

Wednesday, February 19, 2003 11:29 a.m.
It's not that i do not show
It's they who do not see
And coming to think of it, it doesn't really a matter of i get an amount of attention, its the one who gives that to me ;p

Saturday, February 15, 2003 02:24 p.m.
every single person i met have drawn a dot in a picture for me, i wait and see what they are making out of the painting of "my life"
and it is as well as they give a little piece to shape the look of my heart. yet, these people are not much, you would actually see every peice next to the other, it seems like an ugly heart, but it is my heart..
i've met some people who i never ever would feel that my hand would fit their's while shaking hands, while other people even fit in my world.
and what is more helpful, is that i see what i don't, and speak of what i can't. i dont know how to explain it, you'd have to know the same feeling your self.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003 10:46 a.m.
This is for those who left the ground
And for those who are still there
Life is what god gave us to make the best of, and for everyone there is this intrinsic value that holds the their beauty within. In this life, our memories becomes our reality, and in the afterlife our reality becomes our memories. Therefore, we all are always here and there, now and then.
We all praise you god, let us rest in peace...

Tuesday, January 28, 2003 01:47 p.m.
first look into my eyes, then close yours
first stand behind me, then dance around me
first get me lost, then take my hand
first make me stop talking, then whisper to my ear
first break me, then build me again

Friday, January 24, 2003 01:54 p.m.
i dont know, i dont know what to say, im just here..
not even one word that i can say, i just dont get it.. is it that i can't really talk or is it that no one is listening.. and while im tired of both i guess i'll have to .......... dream?!?!
y'know you're something more than a dream..

Monday, January 20, 2003 05:24 p.m.
i'm here.. dont really know where eactly but im somewhere i can be in, not rather be in though.
once i was blinded, i couldn't see, then i'm not allowed to say, and now i'm stopped from hearing. But, im sure they wont take what really keeps me going on. At least i'm to hold on it tight.
yes, i can walk in the dark, while losing all my senses. yes, i'll be holding your hand.

Friday, January 17, 2003 10:48 p.m.
well, went again and just stared at that picture, i went saying all the things i've said before, and thought of saying what i didn't yet.
now that im far away from any "good people" i know, i can see the filth inside of people over here.. its been a while since i've seen the beauty inside of you.. i wonder if there is anything more than beauty as to discribe your soul.. sorry, i couldn't find the words..

Wednesday, January 15, 2003 11:41 a.m.
something really weird happened to me yesterday.. i felt like it sooo over for me, like im dieing or something, couldn't breathe normally, my head felt like its not even there anymore, and my inside seems to be empty, no soul at all, abit is left of all of that till now.
memories of you break me, to a million pieces, and you'd see your love in every one of 'em.. i'll let you gather me up, to see what you have created..

Monday, January 13, 2003 05:01 p.m.
i feel so lost, having loads of work to do, having load of thoughts to mind, having so much to miss.. i remember i was doing so well in all of those in a certain period of time, near to the present. now i can't keep track of anything, and with all of that, i just dont seem to be "here" and "now" anymore. whenever memories take me all the way back in time, it tends to leave me there, never to bring me back.
as sweet as it is, it hurts that much

Sunday, January 12, 2003 09:32 p.m.
its getting darker, and everythings fading away, you remain there

Friday, January 10, 2003 02:51 p.m.
i couldn't stop staring at it, like it was all that is there, while memories kept drawing me slowly into them. and now that im dreaming my life away, i would feel so bad to have those memories kept away, and out of reach.
all i can do now is dream..

Wednesday, January 8, 2003 04:44 p.m.
i dont now, how i find my self here again..
guess im trying to reach somewhere i can't..
but i believe i will in the end..

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 06:32 p.m.
gotta start all over again..
and i think im up to it
and i just got some people to live for
i'll make 'em happy ^ _ ^